Beautifully Imperfect

Hello!

My name is Lynsey Black.

If I am honest, I have had a desire to become a writer for quite some time. Austin Black, my husband and biggest fan, has often encouraged me to write blogs. I have; however, allowed fear and insecurities to hold me back. "My writing is not good enough." "Who would want to read anything from me?" "What would I even say?" These thoughts linger in my mind... and continue to plague me as I write even now. I recently heard a wise speaker, Bob Goff, say that we should not let fear hold us back... so, here goes.

I am a pastor's wife. Enough said right? I could fill this blog with endless entries about this journey alone. I am also an educator, dance teacher, wife, mom, friend, daughter, and sister-in-Christ. I am all of these things, but most importantly, I am beautifully imperfect.

I have recently gone on a journey to further understand my faith, my failures, and my Father in heaven. Certain trials and storms have lead me on this journey. I am currently reading If You Only Knew by Jamie Ivey. If you have not read this book, stop reading this post and starting reading THAT immediately. In this book, Jamie describes her failure as pins (like from The Scarlett Letter) that she has pinned on herself and has trouble taking down. "U" for "unfaithful" or "F" for "fake" etc... Through this book, I have learned that MY largest pin, is "F" for "Failure." This is pinned on my chest almost like a shameful badge of armor. I have learned that I constantly pin this badge to myself. I wear it almost every day.

I fail and when I fail, I fail BIG! Like Peter denying Christ big. Like David committing murder big... Okay maybe not that big, but sometimes it sure feels that way. While we are at it, let's go ahead and pin a big "D" for disappointment on my chest as well. I disappoint my friends. I disappoint my family. I disappoint my husband, and I am sure that I disappoint my church family as their pastor's wife.

I am learning; however, that my failures do not define me. I am working very hard to take down my pins as the lovely Ms. Ivey is teaching me to do. I am searching through the scripture for all the godly people that have failed but were still loved by God (which seems to be in most bible stories... go figure). My husband recently preached a series on The Story, which is a journey through the Bible that tells the story of Christ and his redemption. Throughout this sermon series, I learned that people mess up and God redeems them. This theme is present from Genesis to Revelation. Adam and Eve WALKED WITH GOD and still sinned. The Isrealites... I cannot even get started on them. This would require a completely separate post. Samson was given awesome power from the Lord and broke EVERY rule given by God. Naomi became bitter and angry with God. David, "a man after God's own heart," committed adultery and murder. Peter denied him... not once... not twice.... but THREE times. John, "the one whom Jesus loved," let his temper rule and struggled with offering love to others. Thomas had to see the holes to believe. Not to mention the countless letters to churches whom just couldn't seem to get it right. We see Paul's inner struggle with sin in Romans 7.

"For we know that the law is spiritual, but I am of the flesh, sold under sin. 15 For I do not understand my own actions. For I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate. 16 Now if I do what I do not want, I agree with the law, that it is good.17 So now it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells within me. 18 For I know that nothing good dwells in me, that is, in my flesh. For I have the desire to do what is right, but not the ability to carry it out. 19 For I do not do the good I want, but the evil I do not want is what I keep on doing. 20 Now if I do what I do not want, it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells within me.

21 So I find it to be a law that when I want to do right, evil lies close at hand. 22 For I delight in the law of God, in my inner being, 23 but I see in my members another law waging war against the law of my mind and making me captive to the law of sin that dwells in my members. 24 Wretched man that I am! Who will deliver me from this body of death? 25 Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ our Lord! So then, I myself serve the law of God with my mind, but with my flesh I serve the law of sin."

Throughout out all these failures, God still redeemed, God still loved, and God continued to use these individuals. I am learning that throughout all my failures, God still redeems, God still loves, and God continues to use me. I am hoping in the near future to take off my "pins" and burn them. I no longer accept "F" for failure and "D" for disappointment; I see myself as "Beautifully Imperfect." I am one being perfected and redeemed by my Heavenly Father.

"There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.2 For the law of the Spirit of life has set you free in Christ Jesus from the law of sin and death. 3 For God has done what the law, weakened by the flesh, could not do. By sending his own Son in the likeness of sinful flesh and for sin, he condemned sin in the flesh, 4 in order that the righteous requirement of the law might be fulfilled in us, " Romans 8:1-4

My hope is that through this blog, I can be an encouragement to others. Join me on this "beautifully imperfect" journey.

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To purchase If You Only Knew by Jamie Ivey please click the link below:

https://www.amazon.com/If-You-Only-Knew-Unavoidable/dp/B0796W8WHF/ref=sr_1_1?gclid=Cj0KCQjwgLLoBRDyARIsACRAZe5dXpTBX4LJR4qR0mwDOjbNum_ZTgvogs503_JNPFGthDov2ulju7UaAnTYEALw_wcB&hvadid=243344780551&hvdev=c&hvlocphy=9013759&hvnetw=g&hvpos=1t2&hvqmt=e&hvrand=7633075328654393861&hvtargid=aud-646675773986%3Akwd-412927498453&hydadcr=19734_10212272&keywords=if+you+only+knew+by+jamie+ivey&qid=1561143158&s=gateway&sr=8-1